Sucks to have senior-itis still in the fall term lol. I'm getting so lazy in english, that is not good i suppose. I know i need to get it done, but i just have no motivation, and i'm lazy and it's hard. and i'm tired of writing about stuff i have no idea what to write about. I'm so glad this thanksgiving i needed a break, we need a day off in October.

I saw Down with Love...uh still not a huge fan of rene zeweiger (or how ever you spell it) kinda ruined the whole movie i just didn't see the chemistry there. not like in moulin rouge. head of state was kinda funny, wasn't too bad. definitely not one of those movies that makes you think.

Day after thanksgiving shopping is MADNESS!!! It was fun though :) except for disney where 2 of their 3 registers were broken and the line took for fricking ever. but i bought a couple of things for my friends and something for myself :) not too bad.

Crash and Burn By Savage Garden

When you feel all alone
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door
When darkness is upon your door
And you feel like you can't take anymore
And you feel like you can't take anymore


Let me be the one you call
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
You're not alone

Because there has always been heartache and pain
Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again
You'll breathe again

When you feel all alone
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
And the world has turned it's back on you
Give me a moment please
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
You're not alone

updated list of things to do before I die.
1. Visit the United Kingdom (including Scotland) and Ireland (if not even england at least Scotland and Ireland 1/3/03)
and most of Europe :D
2. Have a boyfriend
3. Have a boy friend
4. Have a new friend
5. Learn to surf
6. Do everything for myself for one day.
7. Go see Westlife live
8. Get close to a dolphin
9. screw number nine i suck at things artsy. lol.
10. Go to College
11. Have something romantic happen to me.
12. See the Northern Lights
13. Learn how to take artistic photographs
14. Learn how to drive a stick shift
15. Drive a 9-3 SAAB Convertable
16. Drive a manual Mini Cooper S :D

spirit week was good, the whole "running through the halls" sucked since WE DON'T HAVE HALLS. and it was just really tiring. so that was lame. We didn't really have much spirit, it kinda sucked that this was our last spirit rally, but i'm not even sure why we do it. our skit actually was good this time i'm really glad about that...i didn't do the float this year, too difficult to get a ride and all of that...oh well. the school still sucks no matter how much we yell '04. all of that really could have waited one more year, why did they have to mess everything up?
I remember reading this question not too long ago, "where did you think you'd be now, 10 years ago?" I was thinking about that....i thought being older than 16 is such a big deal...it's not. things are too much the same, i thought i'd be different, dress different, act different, i may act different much more cynical and bitter even though those feelings are quite unjustified. things in life done work as you plan them, they never are.
.......sucks to have trust issues. I'm not even sure why, it's just that certain things are difficult for me to say. I guess it's one of those psych. things if you say it, it really is true. I don't say things sometimes because i wonder how it will be perceived. I don't say things because i hate being dramatic, if it really is important i would say something, but it seems i never feel any issues are important enough. I don't think i could trust any one person with everything.
why do we always want what we cannot have? it makes everything in life much more difficult and a waste of time. it's that horrible glimmer of hope that drags us along like a dog on a leash. I want to keep my goals grounded and realistic, but there's also a part that just wants to aim high. why can't both be done?
sometimes you feel happy, sometimes you feel sad, sometimes remorseful, sometimes bitter, interesting how seemingly distant things like the television can so very easily change moods and perspectives. very interesting.

feeling very much so better. My mom went out and she got pumpkin pie at nations and and pumpkin ice cream at loards :) she surprised me with it and let me eat it in the guest room on the bed. :) my mom's great she's so understanding and she always makes me feel better. even though i was crabby and cranky and really horrible this afternoon she forgives and finds ways to make it better like only mommy's can do. :)

i am cranky. i woke up with a headache and that always sucks. I have to do this stupid paper, there was an incident of pumpkin pie where someone gave my piece away which was not hers to give away and that really pissed me off. that was not helping. and i got a bad grade on my paper i thought i did well on again, not helping. i'm just so tense i need a massage. i don't want to go to school tomorrow. i wasn't absent at all last year, and i havn't been yet. sucks to be me because i'm going to go anyways, unless i really feel sick i'm going.
i do think that "sucks to be you!-grams" would do well....i'd send out a couple :D

In life I have a theory, a general one, not scientifically proven, but in life when there's something you can't have, you have a stronger desire to want it. I've learned that as it comes closer to becoming tangible, questions arise regarding how strong the desire is: How much do you really want it? That goal in life has been so refined, so polished and put so high on a pedestal it's almost difficult to see the original desire and that's okay, that is what dreams are for, dreams are perfection. They are things that may never happened and that's okay because they can never be tainted or tarnished in your mind. As you see that glimmer of possibility that you may be able to have it, it comes back down to reality and you begin to see the details and little nuances that maybe weren't visible before. What was once a dream in your own mind alone could possibly become reality and therefore be subjected to judgment, brutal criticism and dissaproval. Something you've wished for so long could possibly be the one thing you fear the most.

OKAY! sure. nothing happened at the party, i think because it was on friday night. and not that many people were there, and there were two couples which were occupied with each other and chrissy conked out early. i was super tired too and i didn't care too much if other people played video games. oh well.
not much now, i need to sign up for college and look into scholarships. take note.
drove for the first time at night today...not much different all the same to me. i guess i'm getting more used to it, not that i enjoy it any more.
people create too much drama. well DUH there are going to be people that you don't like in life, no one goes through life loving everyone. that's a given and if that's not well then you need to step into reality bub. people have some really immature ways of dealing with it though sometimes. people need to grow up and realized sometimes you JUST HAVE TO DEAL! ...stupid people make my head hurt. i probably make my head hurt a lot too HA!. if you can't laugh at yourself you are just going to go through life with a stick up your butt.

Things are going well i'll probably write tomorrow since tonight i'm going over to tiffany's house to celebrate charlie's birthday i feel kinda bad that it's late, but for the price of it, it'll be worth the wait LoL
We tried to bake a cake for charlie's birthday...but slight problem...we put one whole box in one pan when we're suppose to only put half and half...oops. it came out slightly problematic but now we know...oh well i think it'sll turn out alright anyways.

For the first time ever i didn't freak out before going to school LoL and actually it looks like it'll turn out alright. I'm not sure maybe because i haven't been at home pacing and thinking about all that could go wrong. and that i've actually had something to do this summer and that i've hung out with my friends a lot more :) but it's all good. I have English Honors with my friends and that always makes the class a lot better and then I have school service (teacher's aid to ms. larson, she likes me and i know how the class goes, plus there are a bunch of people in there i know anyways) and then third block i have sociology, the teacher ms. levy is a bit "eccentric" but overall okay, we haven't done much in that class, but i sit at a round table with joey (cheung), tiff and jeffery. class won't be so bad :) and dun dun dun FOURTH BLOCK OFF!!!! THAT'S GREAT! i've never had a fourth block off, but it's so nice, that extra 90 minutes plus since i'm secretary of octagon i can do club stuff too. Also chrissy, janice and qiao are off fourth block so i don't feel like a loner LoL ...i'm not sure if this is good or not because usually i have horrible things to say about my schedule and stuff before i really know what's going on in class, but oh well. i think one of the biggest thing's i've learned this summer is you can never be prepared. you just have to go with the flow. and learn from your mistakes, all of them. having all these new experiences (getting a job, getting my permit and driving) has very much so taught me that.
shakespeare in love is a good movie, it's part comedy, part drama, fully romantic and not really tragic :) i give it two thumbs up.

I had one of the best birthdays ever :D Mental note: charlie is the type to get there at least on time, if not early. I told him meet at my house at 8:00AM don't be late :) and when i tell that to tiffany, "me at 8" it means, "get there before 9 please" LoL but i didn't know that so charlie was not late! he and finsen came at 7:40AM...i had at least gotten out of bed since tiffany called asking what she should bring so good thing that, but for about 15-20 more minute finsen and charlie watched tv. After that people started trickling in, kyle came, then chrizzy, and then tiffany who took benny, jeffery, and janice in her car. We didn't make sandwiches until they came since tiffany had the mayo, jeffery was the only one who ate breakfast at my house, as all made sandwiches ....nothing too eventful then....charlie said our toilet had some power, it was one of the most powerful one's he's seen...lol that was a first i've been told LoL. then we took off to livermore to go to Boomers, good thing we checked online since there's a discount for groups of 10 or more that's not advertised outside, it's a great deal it's like 14.95 per person, (min. 10 ppl) and then it's an all day pass, until 11PM you can ride anything (bumper boats, go karts) play laser tag and golf games as many times as you want for the whole day :) we got there, but we only had 9 people, we decided the best thing to do was just to have everyone pay an extra 2 dollars or so and pay for 10 people, we gave all of our money to one person and then said the rest were in the arcade. it worked, we tired giving it away, but no one wanted to take it. oh well, their loss. the first thing we did was go carts, that was great since we were the first out there, it was only us on the track, at first it's hard to get used to it, but once the first lap came around i was taking horrible turns and sliding the car all around LoL great fun :) the only thing is that they're stopped by remote control and so when it was time to stop i was still in the middle of the track which sucked, and i was stuck out there for a while :( i eventually drove in and it was an overall good first experience, Chrissy suggested the bumper boats, i'd never seen them and i didn' t know you could get wet on that...but you can. you can get drenched :lol: youjust go around and spray people, it's a ton of fun when it's just your friends :) so you can spray anyone and not worry about them getting mad...although i'm not sure why they would since they're there in the first place...oh well, we just had great fun with that :) and then to dry off (since we were so soaking wet) we stayed outside to play mini-golf and that was a lot of fun, although it is a bit difficult with 9 people LoL we kind of went in two groups and Kyle was quite a good golfer...some times LoL he got 2 "hole in one" 's but sometimes his ball just would not go in LoL it was lots of fun and we were all cheering each other on :) after that we took a lunch break and ate our hard made sandwiches, the new oreos with mocha weren't bad...but they weren't super great either lol chips were good and we Love Kyle's van :D 1) it fits seven people WHOO! and 2) you can fold down his seats and they make a table with cup holders and all :) so some of us ate in his trunk and some of us ate on the little lawn piece dividing the parking lot...we sat and digested for a while (i had cramps...not so fun so i chilled out for a bit) and then we drove the go-karts again and played laser tag, it's a small place but we still had fun chasing each other down. We also got some tokens since charlie, janice and chrizzy like playing ddr, the did that most of the time, kyle played this roulette type game, you put the token in and if it lands all the way in the slot you get 50 or 150 tickets he landed on the jackpot so in the end we ended up getting 362 tickets so he got a lot of little toys and a couple of army men for 1 ticket each :) LoL it was great! LoL before we left we played on the bumper boats again and laser tag and a last time on the go karts while chrissy, charlie, janice and finsen stayed in the arcade. I didn't feel like driving, but i wanted to go for a ride so i had jeffery drive me, he drives like a psycho. it was timed so that near the last turn we'd always see kyle drive by and it was so hilarious, he looked so funny driving because he's so tall his head stickes out a bit and he had no gel in his hair, but it got wet in the bumper boats and dried while he was driving, so it looked funky and very poofy LoL. after we left Boomers, we headed to the city, and tiffany thought that car pool ended at 6, but it actually ended at 7 so us in kyle's van got to pass all the horrendous traffic at the toll plaza, but tiff could only fit 2 and so her and benny were stuck there for a bit. We had no idea where to eat in san francisco and our budget wasn't so extravagant, so i called my mom, one to let her know i was okay and had fun and 2 to ask her if she had any ideas on where to go for dinner she suggested Mel's but some people didn't really want diner food, so then she said J-town wasn't so far so we went there and had dinner there. The food wasn't bad and it was at a good price :) near the end i was getting a bit tired because i had gotten up at 7:30 and had work the day before etc, and so i thought the guy was bringing the bill back so we could pay and get out but he actually brought a CAKE! it had happy birthday teri written on it and i was so shocked. i'm not sure i could convey in words how shocked i was. i mean i had totally fogotten about a cake, it would have been just fine without it but i was so shocked, no one said anything about it and that was fine i wasn't expecting one. LoL tiffany loved it, my face was so red! i was just shocked! they said the hardest thing was hiding it from me, they put it in the fridge at boomers, which i'm not sure how they did that since i was with them most of the time and then they gave it to the guy at the restaurant, when i did not know...that was so shocking i truly was surprised :) and SO HAPPY!!! so they sang to me and we cut the cake and then we drove down to the beach...at first i wasn't sure if it was legal or if it was that one special day tiff went and saw all the fires, but then my sister did it once too so i didn't think so. We saw some further down the beach and so we decided that it was find and that was a good spot to start it, we didn't have a lot of trouble starting it, finsen had done it before and we had all the materials. so we had it going for a good 25 minutes or so which in between elisa, henry and henry's friend zarate came. henry was like "before we start you guys know this is illegal right?" and we saw other people doing it so we figured the cops were too serious about it or it wasn't illegal. anyways we had that going, and then 25 minutes in, a cop with a flashlight comes by and he's all like hi...and we're all like..oh crap. it turns out the cop was really nice and it isn't illegal, well not techincally, we had to just move down a half a mile down the beach and then we could build it there so there really wasn't a problem and the guy was really nice about it. we moved it down and we started another fire...it was so nice, the sound of the ocean waves behind me, the glow of the fire infront, it was so wonderful. and we roasted 'mallows and just sat and just kinda absorbed the peacful ambiance. it was good. then jeffery has this obession with burning stuff or at least throwing stuff into the fire...so we gave him a bag of ice, and then as we started throwing the ice in, it started sizzling and going out so the fire was already almost dead and since it was late we didn't want to keep fueling it. so we put out the fire...and then we found out that was a no-no. putting out the fire is the last thing you do...the first is clean up and get ready to go so you have the heat and you're not freezing your buns off LoL but it was a good lesson learned :) and then it was really late so and some people's parents were freaking out so we had to go and then when we got back to the cars, tiffany didn't know which car elisa and her friends came in and so she was standing next to one of them and asking really loudly IS THIS YOUR CAR?! and then elisa pulled her to the side and was like NO!!! lol and then she looked at the car and there were two people in it....and the windows were steamed....lol it wasn't our car LoL so that provided a few good jokes (mainly having to do with that scene in titanic) lol and then we just went home...i don't think there were anything big happening there. I got home at about 12:30 and i had work the next day!!! lol but it was still the best birthday ever, i spent the whole day with my friends, i had a great time and nothing went horribly wrong :)

sooooooooo the convention. very interesting. VERY fun...there were nine of us Chrissy, Janice, Tiffany, Qiao, me, Charlie, Jeffery, Benny and Kyle. So getting there was good.

Wednesday July 16, 2003
we all met in the morning at Oakland Airport at 6:00AM and most of my friends were already there, of course Tiffany as always was running a little bit late and got there at 6:20. The line for check in was EXTREMELY long. going on a wednesday morning is very popular I guess. So we eventually got to the front and everything went smoothly, boarding passes and everything. Except for Kyle at the security check point, because he got pulled to the side because aparently he's got "heavy metals" in his shoes LoL and he got re checked again. We were so loud on the flight..well most of them were...Chrissy and Janice, when they get going they really are loud, but most of us were all seriously hyped up. Jeff sat at the window, I sat in the middle and Kyle sat at the end, and then benny, tiffany and charlie sat in a row and then Chrissy, janice and Qiao sat in a different row. I can't remember any specific things now that happened, probably just a bunch of random/funny/odd/just plain weird things happened. We had to transfer planes in Denver, and I guess we thought we had more time then we did, we went to mcdonalds and ate lunch, it took some people longer than others since i think they were having a problem with a lack of change but any ways it took about 20 minutes and then Tiffany was like okay we have to go now, and we were like okay just a little bit longer, we all eventually got up and left and about 3/4 of the way there, she hears and the intercom calling all passengers must be boarded on the plane leaving for Kansas City now. I didn't notice it, but she was like oh my goodness i think that's our plane, so she and I made a run for it and thankfully sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thankfully we just caught the guy, and he was a bit rude saying "where have you been" and stuff, and we had to explain that someone had a broken leg, they gave some of our seats away, but we all got on the plane together. That was a bit scary since it was only two minutes before the plane was going to take off and if we had missed our plane it would have just been a big mess. On that plane i don't remember much either...Once we got to the airport, and got our luggage, Tiffany called for a shuttle to pick us up and since a lot of people were coming that day to go to the convention, there happened to be a van already there going to the Adam's Mark Hotel and they had three free seats, so Jeffery went because of his broken leg and it would be easier than just having him wait, Tiffany went because she had everything to check-in and benny went because of tiffany. That left, Charlie, Chrissy, Janice, Kyle, Qiao and me. Kansas City airport is EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEMELY small and there wasn't much to see so we just huge out at the luggage carousal we were discussing what we were wearing for the formal dinner and talking about the shoes we had, i told Qiao that i had a skirt, black open toed sandals, and then charlie and janice were talking and charlie said he had high-heel boots, and we all looked at him really funny and then he said they were high-heeled boots, (honestly, not that much better) and so he opened his suit case to show us what he was talking about and then it happened...he opened the suit case and laying on top were the boots. they were the funniest things i've seen in a loooooong time I just started cracking up, I'm still not sure what about them were so funny, but I just was cracking UP! and I could never picture Charlie wearing them. I just crack up thinking about it! That was just the beginning of the jokes, I think that'll make me laugh for a long time to come :D Eventually the shuttle came and on the ride there, I didn't notice much...a LOT of flat land, highways...a couple of corn fields, i didn't say much during the ride just kind of absorbed everything up. When we got to the Adams Mark Hotel it was nice, there were revolving doors and that was a bit fun for all of us. The first thing waiting outside, we noticed was the heat BOY WAS IT HUMID! Anyways we got up to our rooms, standard hotel rooms, two queens, tv, coffee maker, closet, bathroom, iron/board. no biggie. Us girls were on the fourth floor (402) and the boys were on the third floor (324) the numbers never really mattered, unles we were calling I think most of spent equal time in both of them. By the time we got in and registered, it was dinner time, there was buffet dinner, Salad (standard for every night) pizza, bread sticks and dessert. The drinks as i eventually found out were always the same lemonaide, iced tea, and water (in the mornings milk and orange juice too) That night we had our first general session and the Internationl club president talked for a bit and they also had an inspirational speaker, who was very inspirational and very active, two things necessary for a good speaker, if the speaker's boring well it's just pure torture and horrible. After that ended, we didn't feel like going to the game show which was after so we decided it was time for a dip in the outside pool, it was so muggy outside, but the pool was quite benificial in cooling us off, I think everyone went except for Jeff because of the cast, Also Kate came who at the time I didn't know all that well, only that she was from Homestead high school from the district meetings. We had a bunch of fun, just messing around until the pool closed and we all had to go up stairs. I'm so glad that the girls are great, there wasn't any fighting and we all took turns taking showers, and there was no arguments. After we all showered, the guys came to our room (i think it was our room) anyways we hung out in one of the rooms until it was about midnight since it was curfew then they left to go their room and sleep etc. so we brushed our teeth and everything. and we were all laying in the dark, whenever you have a group of girls, there will be discussion LoL which did happen for about 25 30 minutes, and then it all started to die down, and then Tiffany suddenly came out with, i wonder what guys do? if they talk like we were talking and stuff, and i said something like yeah do they have "male bonding sessions" ? LoL as a joke, and then she asked "hm...i wonder who's sleeping with who?" and none of us knew, and we were guessing how things would have gone and stuff, by this time i think it was about 1AM and then someone said let's call to find out! so i was right next to the phone and i asked the two questions, I don't think charlie knew how to answer the "male bonding" one, but I guessed who was sleeping with who and they were all still up and then when i was guessing all the other girls were interested and i had seen another phone on the desk earlier and I wondered if we could put it on speaker phone. It took us a bit to understand how that worked (we figured it out, the brown phone had to be hung up so the speaker phone would work) we got that going and told the boys how to use it too and so we were talking to them about stupid stuff and and Kyle, being kyle was making all these horrible side comments that he knew we could all hear from the phone, stuff for example like "jeff, get your pants back on" and things like that. every once in awhile it go quiet and we'd have to go hello? qiao wanted to sleep so all of us were crowding around the phone talking into it whispering kind of so that we wouldn't wake her up, eventually we got tired of talking on the phone so we just asked if they wanted to come over and benny and charlie did but jeff was sleeping and kyle didn't want to. The only thing was that it was WAY after curfew so if they got caught they would be in a lot of trouble, but they got to our room fine, and Tiffany and Benny were on one bed, qiao had a bed by herself, and Chrissy, Janice, Charlie and myself were all talking on the floor. Mostly random stuff, OH and on the phone there was this "plucking" sound that none of the girls could figure out so when benny and charlie came over they brought over this empty tube of choco-gummies and was pulling the top off. So we were just on the floor talking and i think Charlie said something obscene, mean or wrong or something LoL and so someone (it might have been me) hit him with the empty tube and it made this really weird sound, it didn't sound like it normally did. so we spent a lot of the time hitting charlie on the head trying to see where it made the different sounds LoL and then Qiao eventually woke up and we got to talking about her and kyle and their situation. she finally admitted that she liked him (which took a lot of redundancy and circuity since she would constantly say something like i don't know until he does something she didn't understand that he wouldn't do anything until he knew. it was a dumb cycle, she talked about her insecurities and things. at least we told her that he's probably scared as heck too, although i'm not sure she understood. that went on until chrissy was out cold and it was just me qiao, janice and charlie left, so we talked until it was about 3:00AM or a little past and then went to sleep, janice slept next to qiao and charlie slept next to me and i slept by chrissy head.

Tuesday July 17, 2003
So no one would notice them, Charlie and Benny left around 6:00AM I think and we started to get a bit ready too. Not so bad... we went down to breakfast where there was eggs, bacon, sausage, etc. and then cereal, fresh fruit and muffins. I opted for the cereal since the other stuff would make me hurl. so we sat and ate breakfast and then we arranged for the free hotel shuttle to drop us off downtown so we could shop around. But on the elevator ride after breakfast the elevator was pretty packed and a shorter kid looks at kyle and says "dude you're like yao ming!" and then put his sunglasses and tried to look cool, it was hard not to laugh, but in my head it too a bit to figure out that he said "yao ming" until it hit me and i started to crack up and I told Kyle I forget if he was a enthusiastic about it or not, but everyone else thought it was funny. So that's where we got Kyle's nickname Yao, and I forget who started calling Jeff "Gimpy" it might have been me, or maybe chrissy, anyways that was Jeff's nickname, I used them both quite frequently. The phrase of the trip was "come on gimpy" :D ... since almost everyone else was going to the amusement park (we didn't go because we were tight on money and we needed to give up everything extra) We really got ot know Kate that day because she came with us too since she didn't buy a ticket either. So we decided to go to the Crown Plaza where there were a couple of shops, and there were some cool stores, such as the crayola store, with a bunch of crayola art supplies and crayon facts. That was fun shop and we hung out there for a bit, and there was another toy store where there were puppets, we were having so much fun with those the two i remember most was kyle and this police officer puppet. Kyle did this deep voice and it was just hilarious, it's just sad that tiffany didn't bring her camara :'( and then benny took this camel puppet which looked like Joe Camel from the cigarette commercials and was like this is what happens when you're on drugs, and made the camel twitch and stuff, it was just really funny! We had a fun time just wandering around and hanging out. I bought some more glass figurines to add to my collection :) We took pictures of all the fountains, and there are quite a few, very pretty. When we got back we took a dip in the pool and discovered charlie had a water proof bag in his swim trunks and so we filled it with water and since it kind of floated, we played a bit of monkey in the middle with it. Mental note: if you play monkey in the middle with Kyle, don't throw the bag over, throw it to the side like you're skipping stones. And so we cleaned up and then went to Denny's. Man i can't remember the last time I was there. I was flipping through the menu, and it didn't take me too long to decide what to get, (Ranch and BBQ chicken salad), but the rest of them took a bit, and most settled on Chicken Fried steak. Kyle is a drinking machine, he had almost four cups of Cola! I swear that boy's obscessed with Cola (he's gonna give himself an ulcer) and tiffany got pretty good at shooting ice out of her mouth into the glass infront of her LoL random party trick :) I had some coupons for Denny's so I got my dinner free and we shared one dessert. We decided on getting a brownie with ice cream on top. Tiffany had her video camara with her and I'm sure she's got this funny shot of all of our spoons ready to dig in on it :) good fun, good fun. The driver had told us that there was a supermarket or WalMart down the road, and so some people were going to get some snacks, but most of us had take-out boxes and that was useless for us to take to there, so it was decided that one guy and one girl should go to take the food back, Kyle volunteered so the guys were set and then none of the girls wanted to go back, so i just volunteered and then Jeff came with us too so that he wouldn't have to walk all the way over there. As we went walked back i think we talked about random stuff, again i don't remember but i'm sure it was funny. Benny or Tiffany i'm not sure, but they asked where the WalMart was since the driver said that the supermarket and walmart were down by the light and make a turn, but that wasn't so exact, so they got more directions. We all figured it was about 10, 15 minutes walking distance, but it was actually 10-15 minutes driving distance, because just on a whim i asked the front desk where the walmart was, and they told us, it wasn't "impossible" to walk there, but it was a REALLY REALLY REALLY long walk. But the decided to come back anyways since the found out that the walmart closed at 8 and it was 8:40 at the time. Again, enter random talking (we do that a lot) and then midnight came around, so the girls decided to leave since we were crashing the boys room and then the boys were like we might come over tonight, but later they decided that they wanted to sleep, and i think we wanted to also. So that was the only night out of the four we got about 8 hours of sleep

Friday July 18, 2003
That morning I guess we forgot to set the alarm and at about 8:40, Qiaoma says hey you guys should wake up, it's 8:40 and so we were SO rushing that morning we were too late for breakfast, but since the guys get ready faster and Benny finds food an extremely good incentive, he got ready earlier and ran down for some of the last part of breakfast, he snagged some bacon muffins, and took them up to the room for later munching. So Qiao and I went to the workshop about being first time Officers of the club and that was the whole morning, for us. I liked that workshop since the woman running it wasn't boring at all and i learned a lot from her. Al

I think i dwell on things too much. Not conciously i think...but today for instance there was a misunderstanding and i had no ride to great america (which my mom eventually drove me) and when i got there i mentioned it, but i was quite upset at that point that no one thought to call anyone else to tell someone to wait for me...but i think i mentioned it a couple of other times. not that i was still upset or anything, I'm not sure why i did it, in the end it was all find because i got there and met up with them, they were even waiting at the front gate so i didn't have to go looking everywhere for everyone...but maybe i still felt a bit bitter? even though i didn't think so....eh psychology hurts my head. oh well that was just a random thought.........
the day well once i got there was pretty fun....justin is very funny although people are extrememly indecisive...it's horrible. I"m trying to suggest things but all the lines are too long or something else....but the rest of the day at the park was fun :) Tiffany's a psycho driver! :D LoL kyle is too...and he's obscene extremely obscene. it was horrible! lol i guess he's quiet most of the time, but when he's quiet it just stores and stores and stores, until when he get a chance he'll make any obscene comment possible! we were in line for a water ride and charlie said something about having elisa shield the water away from him and then it went elisa was going on top of charlie and elisa was wet and it just went on from there. it was one of the most obscene line waits i have ever been in LoL!!! friggin hilarious! so was the car ride to TK noodles...but that's a bit of a different story. we had 10 people in the morning and so we decided to split five and five and so it was pretty much split the rest of the day until about 3 when we met up again, and then we group into random groups who ever wanted to go where ever. but victor wanted to go to ghengas kong for dinner and some of heard it wasn't that good and it was more expensive than tk noodles....so most of us decided to go there....and i think victor wanted his birthday dinner with everyone there and was kind of upset...oops...but i think he enjoyed his gifts lol, everyone got the idea that he likes cars...he got a car model, an RC car and a 2 fast 2 furious poster.

I passed the DMV'S written test to get my learners permit! :D yay!...but they messed up my birthdate. which is not just a typo..it screws everything up. My mom and sister were really happy to find that i passed the test! (well my mom at least) but then then my sister pointed out that they messed up my birthdate, which ment she went into lecture mode, you know the birthdate is the most important and you really need to check before you leave etc. and it just ended with ask mom about it, so we left....when i came home i told my mom i passed and she was really happy about it but then i said that they messed up my birthdate, to which she went into why didn't you go back in there and tell them to change it because the birthdate is the most important thing since that's how they calculate you age, but now since you're home you have to go back later, and make an appointment so we need to bring back your passport and everything (and i just checked and the i'll be a while since she wanted to go next friday but it's not free and the friday after that's the fourth of july so i don't know when i'm going to get it done because she's already taking off for taking me to a dr. appt. ) anyway the whole point of this was that they're all happy for me at first and then 5 seconds later it's lecture mode and what i should have done. now i'm not saying they're wrong, but i did nothing wrong (they're the ones who typed in my birthdate wrong) but i'm the one that should have done something because now they have to do something, which completely absolutely takes away from the joy of passing the test. so it's their fault i'm having a crappy day even though i passed the test, no wonder everyone hates the DMV. Plus i know my sister's going to go into all the details of all the mistakes i made, such as not telling the woman that i had an appointment because if she hadn't been there i would have had to wait 90 minutes if she didn't ask how long it would take. I should have told her that i had an appointment after she gave me the number and didn't ask, but i didn't i don't know it didn't come to me. which is a stupid mistake. and i know that but it hurts more and more the more it's told. and then when i didn't know which desk to go to when the numbers stopped at 20 i got confused even though there was a big sign above the door saying 21-27 here. i probaby do that to people even more, but it hurts and since what goes around comes around, i guess this is my coming around. oh well i'll just suck it up.
and then if it doesn't go well to change my birthdate that's a whole nother horrible episode which will be "blamed" on me (and i put "blamed" in quotes because it wouldn't be outright, but still it's my fault we even have to go back) even though i put the right numbers on the form the guy just didnt' put it in right. ugh
positive things today:
passing the vision test if i failed that, that would have been extremely embarrassing
passed the written test lol that's good
other than the listed stupid things i did today nothing else went horribably pear shaped....

My current mood
lonely
My personal mood
It feels like one of those times where you're surrounded by people, but no one's there. There's no one to connect with and me and my thoughts are all by myself.

So i got the job :) yay!
seniors only have a week left of school....sniff sniff. last time i'll be able to see some people...but at least he was in my class. that priovided more closure that i ever though. :) i know he'll go on to bigger and better things. good luck to him. i'm just thankful that i got to see him for one last term. who'da thunk? :) i'm trying to think positively, i think its hard because he was the first guy i liked that was tangible...and was human (not in the literal sense) in the sense that somedays he was nice some days not....he was smart, he had mood swings, but mainly he was nice. but he was normal. and he was there, as in not like a celebrity where it's admiration from far away...this was up close and in my face. :)

this'll be a short one because i have to get back to my history research paper. what a bore. ugh. oh well. it seems that everyone i hang out with has a boyfriend or girlfriend. :( poo. it kinda makes you feel lonely. but then of course when you see them have dramatic problems you feel a bit better, but just everyday things, like holding hands or something. especially now that Tiffany has someone, and she tells me about it or asks me advice, i'm not exactly the best person to ask advice seeing as how i've never had a boyfriend. :( poo. so that's slightly depressing but i do wish i had one. get me out of my hermit ways. and that was it i just wish i had a boyfriend, that would be nice....ah. only in a perfect world right? ...right.

I applyed for a job at bancroft uniforms...hopefully i'll get it....i think i will i think tiff and elisa are working there that should be fun, if nothing else its a pay check, and now that i'm gonna go to college soon, and drive soon i'll have to find a way to pay.

ugh, i don't like when shows are depressing, especially gilmore girls or everwood. i am so into those shows, and i'm okay when they have fights and all that stuff, but they're my "perfect" world. they're not completely perfect because that would be sickening, but you can at least see there is a possible light at the end of the tunnel. but when there is no light at the end of the tunnel, the i get depessed watching it and even more frusterated. because there's no hope. and if there's no hope in the "pefect world" then how can there ever be hope in the real world? that's why i like cheesy romantic movies, everything works out for the best. in the real world more often than not it doesn't and you have to deal or else you'll just die. but its hard enough to see the light at the end of the tunnel in the "perfect world" then is there even a friggin socket to put a bulb in, in the real world?...probably not.

i really do like this site, it really helps me. helps me get everything out...:) i need that, its a friend who won't tell my secrets. the previous post was probably really redundant at the end but only slightly different each time. and i think that's why i like romantic sometimes cheesy plot lines. because you want what you can't have.

saw a good movie today American Outlaws, ironic how they cast an Irish person as Jesse James...but it was a good movie none the less, action, not too much blood, not too much swearing (cause eventually that gets annoying) a love plot, and a good smart ending :)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.I JUST SPENT ABOUT 20 MINUTE TYPING AND I DIDN'T WANT TO "LOOSE" IT SO I WAS ABOUT TO HIT POST AND PUBLISH, AND THEN I ACCIDENTLY HIT BLOGGER. WHICH TAKES YOU BACK TO THE MAIN PAGE AND LOOSES YOUR POST HERE. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. DARNFRIGGINIT!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! man i was typing like MAD so i had long list and ARUGH.
OKAY ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! its just not the same the second time around. which is why i don't tell many people what i write in here, it comes out once and then stays here and inside my head.

Last night i was totally wired and i have no idea why, I had to get up early this morning at 8:00am for a coast clean-up and so last night at like 12:10AM i went cleanup and go to sleep, but i couldn't my eyes wern't even heavy, usually around that time my eyelids fill like they had 10lbs weights on them, but i couldn't close my eyes! i was just laying in bed staring at the ceiling. but i have two theories 1 I had a full cup of chai tea and milk, i was thinking that chai tea is black tea with spices and black tea has a lot of caffiene so maybe i had too much caffene, because i hadn't had a full cup, its usually half or less. But then again i used to get chai teas from starbucks and it never effected me, and this was only a little bit more than a tall at starbucks, i order coffee and frapps there and the talls still don't effect me, which is why i came up with theory number 2, i was thinking. Not just hm what's 2+2? but I had seen Bend It Like Beckham and i don't know why it was that movie, maybe because it was the first movie i had seen with a bit of a romantic plot in it in a long time, but i just got to thinking about how it would be nice to have a boyfriend etc...and then i was kind of really stuck on that thinking about it all and everything. So i was in my bed at like 12:20AM and i was just laying there, just thinking and I got to thinking about if i had a boyfriend what would he be like and how would it be like to kiss him and how it would be nice just to have someone to call and just talk to about what ever and how it would be like just to hold his hand. and I was just think about that, not really in a negative sense about like i'm sad i don't have one or anything, but i was thinking when would i meet him and how and all, and just in a hopeful manner, and some people say the love being single and all of that, but i'd just like the chance to compare. then I thought about traveling and how i want to go all over the british isles, and right now i'm in this love affair with the british isles and i want to travel there and i'm addicted to bbc america :) and those people seem more laid back and how cool it would be to go over there and see the country side of england and ireland and the highlands in scotland and how i would take so many pictures and i could take artistic ones and i could take normal ones. and then i got to thinking about taking pictures and how i could use my mom's camara because it's not autofocus so you can fix it so you can make things purposely blurry and she's also got a telephoto lens and that would be so cool, and then I was thinking about how it would be cool to have a photography class because i'd really like to know how, and then hm. mental note, ask ms. brown if she knows anything about photography. and then i was staring at my WHITE ceiling in the dark and then i was like how cool would it be to paint my room and then i was thinking of which colors i could do it in and then i was like i should have some writing on it...in GLOW IN THE DARK PAINT, so every night before i go to sleep i could read it and have great thoughts, but a really good one hasn't come up yet. so i'm still thinkin' but then i was like hm, which movie posters should i put up? and then i did decide on "notting hill" "all lord of the rings" "bend it like beckham" and then just some random things, maybe one for the sharks and one for the maple leafs...and then I was like hm...so i was talking to my mom about this today and she said i actually could, but i'd have to totally clean out my room, (which for future reference is a HUGE JOB and probably not because next time i read this i'm probabily not going to be any tidier than i am now) but i was totall shell shocked that she said i could do something like that because every house i've lived in, whichis only two, but none of the rooms at all have every had paint on the walls besides white, and then i thought it was because my parents didn't like it but i guess i'd be okay to do that so that's something else to think about :) so mom's cool when she not touching/throwing out/cutting up my POSESSIONS. and then i got to thinking about traveling again and love....things kinda cycled around a bit until 1:30AM when i forced myself to shut my eyes and go to sleep but i probably could have gone until 2:30 maybe even three!
I think this was really healthy for me, because the past weeks maybe even months i've felt a bit "off" some days more than others, but off none the less, i didn't feel like my old self and i didn't like it, i thought maybe it was a bit of depression, but then i was like what do i have do be depressed about? i have a great family and friends? and then i was like maybe its the other love....? probably. and i had't really figured it out, but now i'm thinking maybe its because I hadn't had time for myself. I've sort of had time to myself, i'm on the computer and all, but i'm always thinking about something else something i'm posting on the message boards, what ever i'm talking about with alex or what not. but last night was all about me. that may sound selfish, and it probably is, but it was. it was all the stuff on my "back burner" that had almost dissapeared, and if it had, i don't know what i would have done. I think all the stuff on that back burner is all the stuff about me. all the stuff that i want to do. and really that's what i thought about last night, i want to get a boyfriend, i want to do photography, i want to paint my room. simple things i really had to get it all out, it hadn't gotten out in 2 months since that's that last time i had a day off of school besides weekends and almost every weekend since then, i've had something to do, tons of homework, carwashes, events, the SAT's and all that junk. i hadn't had time to meditate really and that may sound weird, but i don't meditate in the normal fashion and in chanting, insense, crossing your legs funny and all that stuff. i've tried to relieve stress, but it just didn't work, i couldn't i tried breathing it just didn't work, i'm one of thoes people who's minds never stop. but by the dictionary definition "1. emptying or concentration of the mind: the emptying of the mind of thoughts, or concentration of the mind on just one thing, in order to aid mental or spiritual development, contemplation, or relaxation" i was emptying the mind of my thought, all the thoughts that were crammed up in there and causing headaches, not cause they were bad thoughts, just because they never had the chance to get out, i never had the time to think of them out loud like last night because i was alway thinking about something else, filling out a form passing the chem test, passing the pre-cal, state wide tests, passing the history midterm etc. i just do homework watch some tv and then sleep. i really didn't have time. until last night. last theory on why i didn't go to sleep. maybe because my head couldn't take it any more. it said we need to get these thoughts out and now. you need to stop thinking about everything else and thing about these comforting things for 90 minutes. and I did and it was wonderful I was just thinking about random things and none of it negative, it was all just hopeful things i want to do and things that are actually achieveable and i felt really comforted. it was like waking up from a really great dream and i hadn't felt like that in a while. I think waking up from a good dream and waking up from a bad dream can have the same opposite effects. i mean that like in the best dream i ever had, i think it was i was laying in bed next to boyfriend and we were just laying there and it was late morning and the sun was coming in my room and it was the same as my room, but there was no house next door, it was just rolling sunny hills i think we were in the british isles and the warmth of the sun was just beginning to warm me and that was it when i woke up i didn't really want to, but when i did come back to reality i felt so good when i woke up, it was like i could fly. but one dream everything when wrong i forgot everything and was late to everything, i woke up and i had a headache and i guess since that one i've had most of them like that, but they've all been bad so i've just gotten used to it. but that's why i needed that 90 minutes. I think it also has to be the right conditions, it can't be when everyone else i awake and walking around ready to come in. i think it has to be one of two conditions, at night right before you go to sleep so you just lay in bed, or when you're on a walk somewhere and then staring at something or just thinking as you go along. I've been trying for a REALLY long time to think about what to do when i feel stressed. and I was thinking it was some kind of activity, like some people read, some go to the gym and work out some people do more work and i think i've finally found it, just to think about me and all the good things i want to do.

My current mood: Sunny
Mar 30, 2003 at 10:06 pm
..ish. this was the closest thing i could find to "sunburnt" LoL, I did a car wash longer than I though, and instead of 9-noon, i went from 9-2=roasted arms, face okay, feet okay thank goodness for those two, but arms lobster red. oyoy. its okay went shopping afterwards, good, mucho fun :)

My current mood: uneasy
Apr 14, 2003 at 8:45 pm
I'm feeling...not-right...I just don't feel well. I'm having statewide testing now, and that's not very stressful, its actually quite calming, since its very quiet, but there's so much stuff crammed in afterwards, it's stressful :( I just felt crummy today, especially during english i don't have any friends in that class I'm posivive I looked bitter throughout the whole period, usually i'm just spacey or neutral, but today i just felt better with a frown. and called me on something when i did something stupid, and it was horrible. oy. i don't want go to school tomorrow.

My current mood
good
My personal mood
for the first time in a while i feel good. :) for the first time in a while, i feel like i actually got some solid sleep, the past week i've been feeling like i haven't gotten a good sleep, but i finally have :D and in math we did nothing...wait correction we did one previous homework problem, but other than that our teacher let us off the hook. second block was boring...as usual...um.that's it...lunch was okay....i was stressing about a lab, but once i decided not to do it, in third block, she gave us the 40 minutes to finish it, :D and ben helped me...i was getting so frusterated too, oy. he's nice :) that certainly put a smile on my face also the fact that I got the position of secretary in Octagon :D big WHOOT. :) ...and...4th block not too great, but i still felt okay :)

Today was the Interact car wash, at first i wasn't even going to go, but I decided I've had enough of being "uneasy" and i wanted to get out of the house. at the time i didn't realize it, but it was good that i went out, but i'll get back to that more later. So I leave and go at 9:00AM I get there and one of the hoses breaks, but that's not really important, so mom drops me off and I wash cars, (side note: the freshmem girls that were there DROVE ME NUTS! they were like "um like how do you wash the car? i'm not sure i've never really washed one before" HELLO?! you take a sponge from the bucket and then you scrub the car! WOW. its really not that hard of a concept to grasp....at least not for the normal person...they were just being dumb most of the day which really irritates me.) it's really hot and sunny, but I figure i'm going home at 12:00 its okay, i won't put on any suntan lotion, i'm usually okay, so about 11:50, Elisa asks me if I want to go prom dress shopping with her and Charlie...and I figure, this can't really be a bad horrible thing...I need to get out more often, and what else am i going to do...study?! cha! yeah riiiiiiight. I'll just be on the computer, that can't be any healthier, but by that time my mom had already left to come and pick me up, I felt really bad that I made her come all the way out here just to tell her i was going some place else. but she was was okay with it. But going shopping ment that I had to say until this thing was over because Charlie and Jeff were our rides, and staying until this was over ment staying until 2:00PM, and today was a very sunny and pretty warm day about 77F , and so make a long story short by the end of the day i was as red as a lobster. my arms are HORRIBLE. like I don't ever remember being so sunburnt. this is not good, next time take no chances, just put the lotion on....I just hope my mom doesn't see...eek she'd ask me why i didn't put on suntan lotion etc...but anyway by the end I was pretty tired, and I kinda just wanted to go home cause i feel tired and dirty, but no one is home to drive me anyways so i'm stuck. By the time we all clean up, we had to work out rides, frankly I would have been more comfortable going with Charlie because I know him a bit better and earlier i kept on watering Jeff because i thought he was done and I think he started getting really mad at me, but I had to drive with Jeff anyways. Picked up on some interesting information such as he and charlie aren't going to prom, because i asked whether he was buying a tux or not and he got really confused LoL , so i was like "are you buying a tux? since elisa was looking for a dress" and stuff and he was like, well i went to the other formal dance "winter ball" and that was lame so i didn't want to spend all that money again, and I was just like oooooh. If it had come to me I might have mentioned how a lot of the girls though he was going to ask out lilian or one of them....I think he would have gotten a good laugh out of that. and so we get to Carrow's. expensive food for that type of food and not all that great. So we have lunch there and Elisa and Jeff take forever to decide on what to order and charlie and I eat first, a range of conversation go on just that teenagers have, I can't remember much of it, but most of it was how you can't take jeff to a sit-down restaurant and other random gross things. this was the first time I had hung out with jeff and it was very different that Jeff at school, jeff at school is soooooooooo anal! but regular jeff is really easy-going and most of the time obscene, I was like hm i like this dude (not like "like") when we hung out at tiffany's house and then at school/school related events he's totally different though and i was beginning to wonder why i even liked him and then i see this side of him and i remember :) and I go ooooooh yeah. LoL I remember once Elisa telling me they didn't like each other because they had some fight or something etc. and then today they were flirting soooooooooo much elisa had her hands all over him! lol that was odd to see have to discuss that with her. So we go to a bunch of stores and Jeff is very girly like when shopping but really funny :) Its more fun shopping in a group :) Elisa didn't find her dress there, and we were all kind of tired, so we left the mall, but it was good I liked today, normal things, non-hermit things LoL and it was nice with some people that are loud, but not too loud. I liked all of the people that went today, unlike sometimes we go and there are a couple that drive me nuts. and Jeff's driving isn't so bad :)

My personal mood
I don't know, I feel uneasy, I don't feel right. It's like I feel like I'm not being productive, and I study or do work, but there always seems to be more work so it feels like I'm not going anywhere and then I feel tired and working too hard, and then I stop and try to do something fun, but nothing seems fun, i watch tv :( I read :( I play games :( I don't know. I feel like I'm not being social, and when I went to the car wash with many people, I didn't feel any better, almost relieved to go. When I study I feel like I know the material, when I take the test I feel like I know nothing. and this war isn't making me feel any better, should i be for it? should i be against it? will it really bring Iraqi people freedom or peace? or will it just kill them all? Will we just kill americans? and british? and the more I think about it the more i think of the things i have to do and it seems i have no time for free time but when I have free time it seems like I have too much and should be doing other things.

I think President Bush is an idiot. All this war will bring is death. It will not get Suddam out of power, it will not help the people of Iraq. It will help no one and it will only harm. How come he does not see this? Didn't anyone tell him how much this will cost? Didn't any one tell him we have an extrememly large budget deficit? Didn't anyone tell him there are so many more problems this country needs to fix before he wants to butt his nose into other countries business? I guess not. and it will cost us all.

my arm muscles are so sore i can't bearly lift them gr.. Hm. okay snow report: Let's see, ride up there okay, not bad, some parts stunk like MAD. like bleck i'm gonna hurl its so stinky, and Wendy's has okay chicken burger thingies...and no toilet paper for the bathrooms :lol: ...there were three cabins, the sr. girls, jr. girls and boys. The owners of the cabin stayed in 2 rooms, and i roomed with elisa up stairs in the last bed, freshmen girls had the loft and chrissy, lilian, janice, tiff and karen stayed in the living room. stayed up until 1:30 :) having the bed was a good thing :) electic heating blankets :D got up at 5:00AM...not so good... we left to go to the slopes and got threre at like 8 some mishaps with the rentals but we got it fixed and it snowed :D it was cool :) after that things went down hill....We took lessons at 9:50 and our instructer was such an a-hole. I just couldn't snow board, i'd go super fast and didnt know how to stop and the stupid instructer did even help at all, chrissy and I were just like forget this !$*&%&@(#!!! and they finished the lesson, and we just hung at the bottom. I was just pissed off because 1. i really wanted to have fun 2. it was 50 friggin dollars! so we didn't do much the whole afternoon....That night we showered and had dinner PIZZA! and just hung out it was pretty fun :) and we played spoons! it got really serious, LoL '04 against '03, Jordan and Joe cheated a lot but ohwell LoL it was still really fun, and Elisa and I stayed up and talked a bunch and then we just played in the snow the day after. Snow wars, everyone was so into it :) we were like shovling as much snow as possible, and making snowballs and just tossing the snow it was good, it was seniors against juniors, people were hecka snow wrestling! Tiffany and Ivy got so into it LoL they were hecka rolling around and everything LoL it was hilarious :) although in one of the wars a small piece of ice hit me right in the upper lip so i kinda split my lip, but it was eventually all good, but i didn't have snow shoes, only regular ones, and all this snow got bulit up in them because some of the snow was about a foot and half deep :D and then we got to ride on snowmobiles :) dude when those things go fast, they go fast but it was all good, if i find more pictures, I'll let you know :) i'm getting them developed, but i didn't take it to the slopes so i'm relying on everyone else for those.

This weekend, I tried talking to jeff more because they all seem to leave him out. I think sometimes because he's so mature, there's mature as in wow how "responsible and mature" and then there's like overly mature like he's a 50 year old man in a 16 year old body :lol: I tried to get him to loosen up this weekend but wasn' t successful, but i didn't really work, but I got to talk to him more, not necessarly a bad thing :) And talking with elisa was cool, she was one of the only ones that didn't go so "girly-girl" and knew how a felt about them cause she felt the same way :) that was nice :) so we just chilled, and I had my hair in braids...very horrifying...LoL, i'll get pictures when they develop. oy. LoL over-all the good moments balance out the bad ones....next year will be better :D

the world works in mysterious ways. Why? here's why. There was this dude i was obsessing over leeeeeeet's call him "fish". :lol: and He's a senior now, and I had him in my class the first half of last year. So i was all drooly in that class and then it's over and i'm sad :( and i deal. So i figure he's not going to be in any more of my classes because he wasn't in the second term of last year or the first term of this year. boo hoo. So i have my schedule all set, english, pre cal, history h, and chemistry. except for i was going to switch out of chemistry because i heard the teacher's a biiiiiii.....you can finish that one off, and I was going to take physics with my friend any ways. I was going to do it last thursday, but the line was so long and i'm not the most patient person in the world LoL, so i'm like i'll do it after what ever. *du do du* time warp to today. In my chemistry class (which i was only planning to be in for one day) who comes in? fish. isn't my life great! *heavy scarcasim* LoL, I spend 90 mins. thinking should i bust my butt in this class that i may not even pass to be in the same class as him even though he probably won't even talk to me, OR go with my friends in an easier class. So we go to get our text books and I said my name so they can check it out to me etc. and i hear a voice "teri you're in here?!" ....i turn around. "yesssss" ...and the fact that he remembered my name sealed the deal for two things, i'm an idiot and i'm not changing out. LoL....and that was probably a huge waste of internet space but oh well LOL :) and that is why the world works in mysterious ways.