The chicken side of me is coming out, but you can't blame me, he was talking to a girl. If he was looking like a loner with no one to talk to I'd go to talk to him, but he'd never look like a loner, does that mean I'll never talk to him? maybe.

Anti-socialist Me.
Am I anti-social? Maybe. I just like my privacy and I don't like people to know things about me unless they really want to know. I had some problems with people in middle school. Today was first day of the new term all new classes. Which means in every flippin' class I had to do some sort of "meet the person next to you" crap. I hate doing that, it's not that I'm anti-social so much as it's I don't want to tell people about me if they don't give a flyin nut, if they do then it's all okie dokie but 99.9% of the time nobody does.. I can't stand doing all that and I'm glad it's over.

I have a massive headache my computer is really slow right now, I think it's because of the weather. The weather's really cool right now. Literaly. LoL Mom and I went to COSTCO and right when we got into the parking lot it started to hale! When we were inside it got REALLY heavy and then when we got outside it went back to heavy rain. When we got to the car, the trunk had about a half an inch of ice from the hail on it! The ground was all crispity and crunchity from the ice and the ground was white! It looked like snow! It's probably the closest I'll get to seeing snow in San Leandro. It was the highlight to my bad day. You know what sucks more than the teachers? I pass by Him in the hall and I can't be in any of his classes. durnit. durnit all to heck.

I JUST SAW "A WALK TO REMEMBER!" They're right, you might need a hankey, Al and I shed a couple of tears. LoL We missed like the first 10 mins. which is why I might drag Tiffany to it anyway. It was a good movie! I loved it, it's like my perfect fanfiction LoL. Rides got a little confusing in the beginning seeing as how Al was 20 minutes late becaues she got some bogus directions and couldn't call me (I live in a dead zone). But once that was over it was all good and she got me a dolphin! LoL It's this huge AND I LOVE IT! THANKS AL! You're the greatest! I really do love that movie!

Tomorrow I'm going to see a walk to remember with Alex. I was going to go with Tiffany and Alex, but she didn't ask until earlier today and found out that she couldn't go. I'm kind of cheezed off. I know I've left her a couple of times before, but she does this a lot to me right before. We've had this movie thing planned since last week and she only asked today and finds out she can't go. A lot of times it's like that where she can't go right before. Whatever I'm sure I'll get over it by tomorrow. Eh I'm just cheezed off because I really wanted to see this movie with her and also on the line, but she couldn't for that one either. It's probably better with Al because she knows my obsession with it LoL (Hi Al!)

Plus I have a fat pimple on the right side of my mouth on like the exact spot so that I can't open my mouth that wide. grrrr hurts when I talk too. My Aunt and Uncle are over right now, they're talking about insurance and my bratty cousin who is almost 2 and has a mind of her own. They probably think I'm being rude or anti-social or both either way I don't give a flyin' nut.

Hopefully I'll get some cute nice guys in my new classes! :D I get my schedual on monday.

GEEZE IT WAS SOOOOO STINKIN' COLD TODAY! Yesterday it was slightly cold in the morning and warmed up a little in the afternoon, I didn't bother to put on my jacket. Today was STINKIN' COLD ALL FLIPPIN' DAY! I was sooo freezing today!

I need to talk to my councler soon, I need to change out of my math class. My friends say that he's only good if you know what you're doing. That I am not.

3 days left. Today I was actually being nice. Good for me. *pats myself on the back* He was cool today. Miya was talking about how some fish dude told her sister to buy some cheap fish and let them die so that algee would grow on them, and we were talking about how messed up that sounded and stuff and it came up again. He won't let it alone that I actually eat raw fish. I do. LEAVE IT BE! LoL He was like you know what Teri would do? She'd take them out of the tank and EAT THEM RAW!

I think I did alright on my presentation, probably not an A, but higher than a C.
Today my mom was asking me about if I ever hid report cards or anything that would make my sister look bad. She grilled me. I didn't tell her everything I know or knew. But I'm trying my hardest to stay out of anything. It sucks to be the woman in the middle. Especially when you need to be loyal to both sides, why can't life be like a cheeze fiction novel?

Man I'm stressing. I have a presentation tomorrow at 8:05AM. I still need to write an introduction for the acutal written report. Also in 8 days I have my spanish final oral report. It has to be at least 2:30 minutes long. I'm absolutly horrified to stand up there and talk, by myself for 2:30 minutes. Both other times I have had someone else up there by my side, but this time none. ACK!
On a sadder note, we get Monday off. 5 days left. but that's the way life is, things happen and then you dwell for a bit and move on. Move on.

Suddenly he's leaving
Suddenly the promise of love has gone
Suddenly ... breathing
Seems so hard to do

Can't believe you planned it
I got to know just a minute too late
Now I understand it
All the times we made love together
Baby you were thinking of her

Why do I love you
Don't even want to
Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should have told me
Why did you have to be untrue
Why do I love you like I do
Why do I love you like I do
Ooh

Ain't gonna show no weakness
I'm gonna smile and tell the whole world I'm fine
I'm gonna keep my senses
But deep down when no-one can hear me
Baby I'll be crying for you

Why do I love you
Don't even want to
Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should have told me
Why did you have to be untrue
(love you like I do)

Why do I love you like I do

Can't go back
Can't erase
Baby your smiling face
Oh no
I can't think of nothing else but you
(Else but you)
But you

Why do I love you (love you)
Don't even want to
Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should have told me
Why did you have to be untrue
Love you like I do
(Oh I do)
Like I always do
Why do I love you (love you)
Don't even want to (want to)
Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should have told me
Why did you have to be untrue
Love you like I do

Why do I love you like I do

Love you like I do
Like I always do
Love you like I do
Like I always do
(Why do I love you)
Love you like I do (love you)
Like I always do (want you)
(I do, it's true)
Love you like I do
Like I always do
(Why do I love you)
Why do I love you
Don't even want to

(repeat to fade)

Westlife-World of Our Own
Why Do I Love You?
(Jörgen Elofsson/ Per Magnusson/ David Kreuger)

First of all, I finally got my CD'S on the Monday I went to school. THEY ARE GREAT! I LOVE the Westlife one! My fav right now are Bop Bop Baby and Evergreen. Enya cd will help lower my stress level I think LoL perfect cd to do projects with. And last but not least, my Charlotte Church I love her voice. GREEEEEEEEEAT CD's!
After over 2 months, we FINALLY changed seats. And Luck was finally on my side! I sit one seat away from him, so at least my last days with him I will be close to him. :D I am sooooooooooo stoked! I actually had a dream with him, probably because I was hoping soo much that I could sit next to him. It was weird, I was a some school, not SL, but a school and it was really dark outside and I needed a ride and I just happened to find him. He was driving a black SUV like an expidetion, so I was about to get a ride home with him, when Mom showed up and started yelling at me in the hall about how I wasn't where I was suppose to wait for her and I wasn't at home either. After we got that all sorted out I begged her to let him take me home and she said yes. I got in the car and that was the last I remember. But Mrs. Lizmer called out his name and I'm like PLEAAAAASE let me be by him, it was unlikely because it was him and only 3 seats after him then she called my friend's name and then...MINE! I was like alllllllright! :D So I get to sit by my friend and him. Muhahahaha.
Today he was begging around for candy and I happened to have a bag of crispy M&M's with me so when he asked I offered but he's like awwww never mind. Then he wanted a change for a $5 and so I had to count out 8 quarters because I only had 3 bills, from my wallet while looking like I was paying attention to the book because where I sit now, she's RIGHT in front of me. I'm just glad I didn't get in trouble. Thank goodness! But at least we get to talk :D That sooooo rocks. I am sooooo stoked right now!!!

I just saw WESTLIFE ON TV! WHOOO HOO! That has never happened before because they are popular like everywhere else around the world...except here and I was flipping through the channels and stopped at BBC America because it said the Top of The Pops was on so I started to watch and in the last half hour I saw Westlife! The preformed Queen of My Heart! ahhhhhh Mar is such a hottie he's enough to make you melt into a gooey puddle! :D LoL Also a band called Travis played a song called "Here Comes The Sun" and dedicated to George Harrison. It was nice. 9 days until I have to present. and 19 days until A WALK TO REMEMBER COMES OUT TO THEATERS! I am sooooo making an effort to see that one, and drag Tiffany or Al with me! :D Both of them are not too fond of cheezy plot lines. MUSHAHAHAHA gotta call Ro monday...gotta make it short because i'm calling from the cell. It's cheaper..it just is. OOH AND my cd's got shipped and they should be here Monday! Technically they should be here today, but since mailworkers don't work Sunday, I'll come tomorrow. I DUN WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW MOMMY DON'T MAKE MEEEEEEEEEEEE!
:( and one last last thing. SOME ONE GAVE ME FEEDBACK ON MY STORY! I finally got my lazy butt up and started a story, And Donna, such a nice person gave me some feedback on it! :D If you want to read it, it's here! please visit and sign the guestbook or send me an email! Much obliged.

Beginning of Life Crisis.

I think I'm having a "beginning of life crisis". People have mid life crisis when they are like 40 or 50 and realize that they need to feel young again and all that. I'm 15, I think I'm having a crisis similar to that, I realize that I'm in a way loosing my childhood, I have the rest of my teenage years and the rest of my life to look forward to and all, but that's what's distressing me so much. During this holiday season, I realized that things will never be the same, at first I blamed it on moving to a different house, but last night I realized that it wasn't me physically moving, it was me moving on with life...and that scares me. I realized it when I was complaining about not doing "Christmas things" I associate all of those things (cookie decorating, putting up the lights, decorating the tree...) with my childhood and now that we don't do them anymore I don't have a childhood? I am so confused. There are so many things I haven't done yet, like gone on my first date, had my first kiss or boyfriend...man and this year I'm going to be 16. Bittersweet 16. That scares me so much. All these things are coming and letting me know that I'm growing up and I don't want to. Tiffany asked me if I wanted to take a driver's ED. class, which ment we are going to be driving soon, oh my god. all these things are coming and serioulsy scaring me. This is my last year of being a "kid" I mean next year I'm going to have to be looking for scholarships for collages but I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I have some thoughts, but they are unrealistic the more I think about them. It seemed like everything was easier for my sister because she is older, no one else I know is a younger sister. They are all older or have no other sibilings. It was easier for my sister to go off and do her own thing because there was always me to take care of so my mom still felt like she had a child. Now that I want to grow up and do my own thing I don't know if I want to leave the safety I've always known.

Of course this could just be me being dramatic, but this time I don't think so.

I don't think my mail is ever coming back. I go back to school in 4 days. God, that's scary. I don't want to go back, actually going back might be alright but what I really don't want to do is my presentation. I also know that I have to do one in spanish, she never said when, but she said we would have to be at least 2:30 long. ACK! I hate presentations. My history one is coming along alright. I have most of it done, I just have to make it look all nice and pretty. I'm going to do that now.

Happy New Year everyone! It turns out that we did go shopping on Saturday...in the pouring rain...LoL but it doesn't matter because I love the rain anyways. :D Computer problems are still here and will be here...probably forever, but right now all three are working and I have powerpoint. Although powerpoint did breakdown on me and lost some things I didn't save, I saved enough and not too much was lost. Can't say the same thing about all my mail. My dad and uncle were messing around with the 'puters and deleted AOL because we were planning ot get rid of it soon... :( but they deleted some things that you can't get back anymore like ALL MY MAIL. But my dad's working on trying to salvage what he can of it. I still wanna see "A Walk To Remember"...looks WAAAAAAAAY cheezy....just my type! Plus Shane West has that rugged look to him... :D I so hope it comes out on time and I'm still looking at that book, I think I'm gonna go to a used book store because you can get things waaaaaaaaaay cheap there and they're usually in great condition! so lastly Happy New Year everybody and stay safe!