I feel moody...and burned.
The day started out really great, mom and dad finally came home from their great trip :) and then Chrissy came by and we went to yearbook where we got a bunch of work done :) and then i came back home and we went to my aunts house for dinner...
So while my parents were gone, stuff still needed to be done, my sister took it upon herself to do a lot of cleaning and tidying up since she knows my mom likes it when she comes home to a clean house. She is also the type of person where things have to be perfect. insanely perfect. She did a lot of cleaning and took lots of responsibility like doing the laundry and taking out the garbage...I'll totally admit to that, but she didn't really ask me to do anything. She asked me to dust and I did, normally I'm the type of person to not clean and leave that to others, but when I have to do it, I will. My sister assumed that I still wouldn't do it which is why she did it all herself and then kept listing it all off. Still, I understand, when you do something, you want credit for it. So I'm guessing that she told the whole family because they all made a comment about how Jamie did a ton of cleaning, and Teri didn't do shit. I wasn't asked to help, but neither was she and she did it anyways, so i guess i don't have anything to complaing about. But this one comment just got to me, aparently one of my uncles made some comment about how my sister was like Cinderella doing all the cleaning and staying at home and I went out. I went out on Saturday to a baseball game with my cousins and other uncle. I went because I hadn't spent a lot of time with them lately and I thought it would be nice to see and hang out with them. I also got a massive sun burn from the game and am now currently red. really really red. I guess I shouldn't have let it get to me, but that "Cinderella" comment really did, because I didn't ask her stay home or not go out so that I could and party. If she had wanted to go out and stuff and asked me to split the chores I really would have because I know i've been going out lately. It just seems like when she used to go out all the time when she was in high school, it was okay for her to do that because she was older. Well it was the same deal, she went out with her friends and all of that well...someone still had to take out the garbage, and fold the laundry and all of that stuff. But since she was older and wanted to go out it was okay. When I go out, then oh poor jamie has to do all the work. They just made me feel like such a burden and if i wasn't there things would have been a lot easier. I just hate that I really do. I don't know why I let all this crap get to me, if i don't let it get to me it's really not that big of a deal. but i don't know.

random blogg. i think i had too much caffene today i had like 4 chocolate covered expresso beans and a mocha (coffee/chocolate) blast from basking robins. i'll be wired till 5 WHOO !!! This was a great spring break, monday i did nothing and was a lazy bum. and the tuesday i hung out with kyle chrissy janice and chrissy's friend. we went with kyle to get a hair cut and then to the mall and then chrissy's uncle treated us out for pool :D that was mucho fun...and then on wednesday i went shopping with chrissy, janice, maria and ashley in san francisco in the morning and then that night i went to Valley Fair in San Jose wit Tiffany benny joey qiao finsen eddy and jeffery for his birthday. and then we went back to his house and hung out for a bit :) and then since then i've been a lazy bum! besides today I drove around with mom and jamie in fremont by the dmv and then we went to union city to best buy so i could buy some CD'S Dashboard Confessional (cause i was tired of taking justin's ) and then Ben Jelen's (which is one of the best buys since jason mraz) :) i'm loving both! whoo i'm so glad i had a gift card or else i would be spending money i don't have! HA and that's not a good habit to get into.
life's good so far WHOOT!
I should have gone to yearbook, but man it's my last spring break, i wanna have some fun and yearbook is definitely NOT.

and yeah life is actually moving now at a not bad pace, enough to get things going but not so fast i feel like i'm missing out

Wow these days just seem to be going by so quickly! it's insane how fast life goes...and how slow (we went to costco today for three items...costing a little over $15 and that took over and hour) man. but it seems like i just started my senior year, and now there's only a quarter of it left. I'm more excited than I thought i would be. It's weird how slow 16 years can go by and then how quickly 2 come and go, it seems like life creeps along and then shoots off from 2-60 mph LoL

I wonder if the weather really does have an effect on your emotions? they say portland/washington state have a high suicide rate because of the constant rainy weater etc. but I guess i'm glad that we have two seasons lol because even though i like the cold better than the warm, i seem to be in a better mood in the warmer weather. lately i seem to be more happy, and not just happy, satisfied. Satisfied with being without a boyfriend, satisfied with going to community college etc. Lately i just seem to be happier :) randomly being in a good mood rather than a bad, and trying to look at the better side of things :) just like because i don't have a boyfriend, i get to look at other guys :) and oogle at them rotfl. well hey it's mildly entertaining when there's nothing else to do. and i've recently renewed my eagerness to go traveling (consequently with the viewing of some cute aussie guys) LoL more on that later. but things just seem okay now :) they may get insane and horrible later, but things are good now. i randomly smile...and that is quite random. i think this is a good time for this to happen because senior year is the year to just live it up! whoo!!!!!!!!
annnnnnnd back to the cute aussie guys, lol okay this was such in a random way because i was INNOCENTLY searching for those Haribo gummie bear ads, the ones that have like two gummies pulling another in the middle and it says "naughty bears" those were kinda funny, and in my search i came upon this guy holding a bag of haribo gummie bears, but no ads. but the guy holding the bag really wasn't all too bad looking ;) so i clicked on the page it ended up being on and there was a bunch more pictures and a whole website :) so alex and I spent about an hour talking about them and commenting on their pictures lol...now in retrospect it sounds stalker-ish...but i swear we weren't lol...although i think if guys that go to all boy schools look all that sexy we SO need more all boy schools...
I guess that partly perked up my spirits...lol but i dunno...i really need for summer to come....alex, me and chrissy need to go guy hunting :) I just have a good feeling :) let's see....monday, march 29, 2004 good feeling starts...let's see how long this one lasts....hopefully long yay!

Ski trip was eh....really eh. not much fun, didn't snowboard cause it was SO not fun last year, people were being all dramatic around each other. and you know well THAT SUCKS. oh well. I got to drive a snow mobile! WHOOT! that was great :) I gotta drive and steer it and the Bruce took the reigns and we did a couple of jumps very cool. :D

lots of things to do...assesment tests for chabot, buying joeys present, finish writing essay for scholarship (which i probably won't get, this essay isn't "hard" but i really don't know what to write), finish off driving and getting license, figure out what job to get and stuff....a billion other birthday's coming up, justin, jeffery, chrissy, oi. then senior stuff....too much to do. i'm so glad i don't have anything to go (going out wise) today.

I went to a hockey game yesterday, i forgot how much fun those were :D mucho fun...and they won, lots of yelling "BEAT L.A.!" and Dallas lost their game also, so Sharks keep their lead for the western division :D whoot! um...i guess that's about it...

Life Will Go On
Chris Isaak
(Always Got Tonight)

Broken skies, heartaches that flowers won't mend
Say goodbye knowing that this is the end
Tender dreams, shadows fall
Love too sweet, to recall
Dry your eyes, Face the dawn
Life will go on

All day long thought that we still had a chance
Letting go, this is the end of romance
Broken hearts find your way
Make it through just this day
Face the world on your own
Life will go on, life will go on

There'll be blue skies, every true love
Someday I'll hold you again
They'll be blue skies in a better world, darlin'

Tender dreams, shadows fall
Love too sweet, to recall
Dry your eyes, Face the dawn
Life will go on, life will go on
Broken heart find your way
Make it through just this day
Face the world on your own
Life will go on

I think the only reason I was, and maybe am still so upset is the fact that Saturday night was suppose to make me feel better about not having someone on Valentine's Day since we were suppose to be watching chick flicks and all...and so when i couldn't go, it was like super isolation, not even being with the people who are alone. which makes me super alone. which sounds stupid. but yeah. i guess that's how i am. i don't know what i'm feeling, but whatever it is i'm sure feeling a lot of it. and my period isn't even here yet. but when it does i'm sure i should wear a sign that just says "WATCH OUT. DON'T EVEN GO THERE"

I'm just lying to myself hoping this couples thing is a phase even though in my most positive thoughts i know it's not. and i probably won't have anyone...optimistcally? ever.