In life I have a theory, a general one, not scientifically proven, but in life when there's something you can't have, you have a stronger desire to want it. I've learned that as it comes closer to becoming tangible, questions arise regarding how strong the desire is: How much do you really want it? That goal in life has been so refined, so polished and put so high on a pedestal it's almost difficult to see the original desire and that's okay, that is what dreams are for, dreams are perfection. They are things that may never happened and that's okay because they can never be tainted or tarnished in your mind. As you see that glimmer of possibility that you may be able to have it, it comes back down to reality and you begin to see the details and little nuances that maybe weren't visible before. What was once a dream in your own mind alone could possibly become reality and therefore be subjected to judgment, brutal criticism and dissaproval. Something you've wished for so long could possibly be the one thing you fear the most.