Beginning of Life Crisis.

I think I'm having a "beginning of life crisis". People have mid life crisis when they are like 40 or 50 and realize that they need to feel young again and all that. I'm 15, I think I'm having a crisis similar to that, I realize that I'm in a way loosing my childhood, I have the rest of my teenage years and the rest of my life to look forward to and all, but that's what's distressing me so much. During this holiday season, I realized that things will never be the same, at first I blamed it on moving to a different house, but last night I realized that it wasn't me physically moving, it was me moving on with life...and that scares me. I realized it when I was complaining about not doing "Christmas things" I associate all of those things (cookie decorating, putting up the lights, decorating the tree...) with my childhood and now that we don't do them anymore I don't have a childhood? I am so confused. There are so many things I haven't done yet, like gone on my first date, had my first kiss or boyfriend...man and this year I'm going to be 16. Bittersweet 16. That scares me so much. All these things are coming and letting me know that I'm growing up and I don't want to. Tiffany asked me if I wanted to take a driver's ED. class, which ment we are going to be driving soon, oh my god. all these things are coming and serioulsy scaring me. This is my last year of being a "kid" I mean next year I'm going to have to be looking for scholarships for collages but I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I have some thoughts, but they are unrealistic the more I think about them. It seemed like everything was easier for my sister because she is older, no one else I know is a younger sister. They are all older or have no other sibilings. It was easier for my sister to go off and do her own thing because there was always me to take care of so my mom still felt like she had a child. Now that I want to grow up and do my own thing I don't know if I want to leave the safety I've always known.

Of course this could just be me being dramatic, but this time I don't think so.